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Always love people from a safe distance, protect yourself

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It is crucial for our well-being to love certain people from a distance. This means that we love them without harboring any ill intentions. Our feelings toward them are always positive, yet by distance, I mean we should maintain a certain level of separation in terms of connection, availability, and access to the realms of our mind, soul, and heart. These are the individuals who create chaos due to their unsolvable issues, generated out of an inability to handle them and the fabrication of demons through fear and self-made assumptions.

Failing to do so results in making our lives miserable, especially when emotional imbalance takes control of our minds.

The initial challenge is that we often do not understand our preferences and inherent inclinations. This implies the types of likes and dislikes encoded in our DNA. I believe that our affinity towards something, a place, or a person is predetermined in our genetic makeup. We cannot force its development, regardless of the emotional pressures imposed on us. We cannot dislike what we naturally like, and we cannot like something that goes against our innate code. Here, I will conclude.

This is why we have diverse likes. We are drawn to numerous people, places, and things, which can be of the same or different types. We do not like everything, every place, or every person.

The same holds true for others, as they are born with distinct preferences. Each person will have different tastes and parameters to establish standards of likes and dislikes. Though overlaps may occur at times, creating unions, it is not possible for an absolute 100% match. There will always be 1% differences among two human beings.

Returning to the concept of loving at a distance, we must define and understand the parameters upon which our standards are based. Subsequently, we can identify the likeness of people and things. Let us be numerical and state that if something overlaps with us by any percentage above 50%, it is acceptable. This is how we can maintain personal space and keep people in different spheres around us.

After defining this, we must seek love deliberately. Love does not happen automatically. We often confuse our likeness, with an overlap of more than 50%, with love. However, true love is never automatic. If it were love rather than mere likeness, we would never feel comfortable once it is gone.

Love is always an investment of emotions, time, energy, positive sentiments, and various other factors. We never love something we dislike, but we can love something that aligns with our parameters of maximum likeness. Many people do not empirically define this, leading them to perceive it as an automatic process. However, behind the scenes, everything is numerically calculated. Our lack of awareness does not negate this fact. Likeness and emotional investment are interlinked; we invest and continue to invest until it grows beyond a point of no return.

If detachment occurs, we experience sadness and a broken heart. The love-based investment goes to waste, resulting in emotional loss that we regret and feel pain over. The lower the investment, the lower the pain of regret and loss.

I will now connect likeness and a broken heart. Even after our heart breaks, we cannot hate people, things, and places. The intrinsic and innate likeness encoded in our DNA cannot be destroyed, just as the DNA itself cannot be destroyed.

Numerically speaking, maintaining personal space becomes essential, and a threshold of 50% likeness serves as a practical guideline. This percentage reflects an acceptable overlap for coexistence without compromising individual well-being. Moreover, the inherent diversity in human preferences ensures that a perfect 100% match is unattainable, leaving room for at least 1% differences between individuals.

In the realm of emotions, the concept of deliberate love underscores the numerical precision involved. Love, being an investment, operates on a calculated basis. Likeness, surpassing the 50% threshold, often leads to confusion between mere affinity and genuine love. The awareness of this numerical aspect highlights the need for conscious efforts in seeking and sustaining love.

The emotional consequences of detachment are also subject to a numerical evaluation. The degree of emotional investment directly correlates with the intensity of sadness and heartbreak. Lower investments result in proportionally reduced pain of regret and loss. This numerical perspective sheds light on the intricacies of human emotions and relationships, emphasizing the quantitative aspects often overlooked in matters of the heart.

The war of narratives and lowest insights based on lack of awareness

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Currently, I am silently contemplating the greater good. How the world has been designed… The war has erupted – a war of narrative and counter-narrative. Each human being is pushing others to agree with their version instead of returning to the roots of good and bad, good and evil. When we ask them, they say, “Define good. What is good and what is evil?” How you define good is not considered good, leading to another war of narratives. So, I was thinking that it was a multi-layered war, one river of fire after another. 

A war never to be concluded.

She was also right regarding how society perceives poverty, color, personality, and personal character of individuals. For instance, being overweight, divorced, or belonging to the middle class is seen as a flaw, regardless of the beauty within, upbringing, degrees, and efforts. She, an actress, highlighted this perspective. If I translate for you, I’d say that in elite circles with fame, like models, possessing wealth, cars, or power, nobody considers factors like body weight or divorce as a stain. Just as society does not dislike divorced models, overweight models, or wealthy anchors and stars.

You are also correct in taking things on their merits, which society often overlooks. You rightly argue that society should consider people beyond the materialistic world.

This is what’s happening inside my mind; the war of narratives has left people like me, who think deeply, confused. Goodness and virtues have been pushed behind curtains or made blurred and cloudy. It has become challenging to filter and segregate real goodness that is acceptable to us, the society. After all, we are the units of society, its tiny parts.

Amid society’s confused state of mind, there is a need for a concrete scale that can distinguish goodness from slurry. I believe this. There has always been a need for a standardized scale or filter. This filter should be impervious to tampering, and nobody should be able to pollute it. Without such a scale to measure goodness and merits, there is no solution to anything. If this scale is susceptible to tampering, it is not trustworthy enough because someone will manipulate it, rendering it dysfunctional. This scale needs to be identified.

The entire justice system and politico-economic social structure should embark on a treasure hunt to discover what is acceptable to society as the standard of measurement. It should be flawless, protected from any tampering, fixed, and capable of serving as the scale for merits and demerits, good and bad. I believe we need to discover this scale based on these principles. Once found, we must use it to measure each narrative, or else we will remain in perpetual confusion. This confusion will cripple us and has already proven devastating to global society, which is now on the brink of collapse.

Tall Claims of Shallow Love, where do we stand in our confessions

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People make tall claims in times of peace, but when adversity strikes, their love undergoes trials, and they often fail to uphold their values and assertions—a shallow love.

What they forget is that love is always tested, and these trials can be harsh and demanding. Withstanding the storms is not a mere child’s play.

Rather than stating, “That is not the case; your wish is my command,” and expressing a willingness to adjust your ideologies and life accordingly, choosing to live without the burden of a job and raising kids as my love desires, you propose a pessimistic notion.

The height and depth of your shallow words, “I love you,” have been revealed. Please refrain from making such claims or confessions in the future. I strongly dislike it. It is evident that when faced with adversity in the future, you are likely to respond with this negativity, instead of adopting a mature approach to address and resolve the issue. This was unexpected. Your whole day’s quarrel was the exact opposite of what you used to state in the name of love. It has shown how daring you are to submit yourself to love. I wrote some time ago that as soon as a woman crosses the age of 25-27, she learns to adopt so many roles. She becomes mature. She learns when to act and how. This act of yours is just a testing of this and approval of my theoretical framework in this regard.

If I were in your position and my beloved had spoken similarly, I would have willingly forsaken everything for him. Submission implies absolute surrender, a total commitment. Where has this submission gone? Where is the “Your wish is my command” mentality? It seems to be a shallow declaration of love and nothing more. How disheartening.

True submission leaves no room for doubts or questions. If doubts persist, the submission was insincere, merely a momentary claim. It was not wholeheartedly accepted. True submission is characterized by a heart that follows the act, leaving no room for questions. The words of a beloved become the final verdict, a command without a hint of hesitation. To die for the beloved, to annihilate oneself in the beloved—this is the essence of true submission.

We should retract our claims and only confess when we are truly ready to submit. Love goes beyond mere words; it is as challenging as ABC when walking the path of love, requiring sacrifices and even bloodshed. Love is relentless and requires a lifelong commitment, overshadowing personal wishes and desires. The wishes and desires of the beloved become paramount. If any personal desires persist, the love has not fully matured and remains fragile. Claims should only be made when love has reached a stage of growth.

Keynotes from the book “Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets” by Andy Stanley

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“Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets” by Andy Stanley serves as a practical and insightful guide for anyone seeking to make wise decisions that align with their values and long-term goals. Stanley introduces five pivotal questions designed to shape thoughtful decision-making, whether faced with significant life choices or smaller, everyday decisions. The first, the Integrity Question, challenges readers to honestly assess internal rationalizations, ensuring choices align genuinely with their principles. It promotes self-reflection and authenticity throughout the decision-making process. The Legacy Question encourages a shift in perspective from immediate outcomes to the long-term narrative of one’s life. Readers are prompted to consider how each decision contributes to the overall story they wish to tell about their character and choices.

The Conscience Question addresses internal discomfort or unease, acting as a guide to acknowledge and explore potential red flags signaling negative consequences. The Maturity Question urges individuals to transcend impulses and short-term gratification, fostering thoughtful, responsible decision-making based on wisdom and foresight. The Relationship Question, specifically focused on decisions impacting relationships, prompts individuals to prioritize love, understanding, and compassion when making choices that affect others. It encourages a consideration of the impact on the health and well-being of relationships.

By incorporating these questions into the decision-making process, Stanley argues for several positive outcomes. This approach enhances self-awareness, fostering more authentic choices. It reduces the likelihood of impulsive decisions and subsequent regrets. Furthermore, it aligns individual choices with their core values and long-term goals. Ultimately, the book encourages the development of healthier and more fulfilling relationships by emphasizing the importance of thoughtful decision-making. Stanley’s guide serves as a valuable resource for those seeking to navigate life’s decisions with purpose, integrity, and a focus on long-term fulfillment.

10 Lessons from book “Good Vibes, Good Life” by Vex King

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1. Self-Love Isn’t Indulgence, It’s Revolution: We often confuse treating ourselves well with selfishness. King shows us that self-love is the foundation, the act of choosing ourselves worthy, flaws and all. It’s the armor that deflects negativity and empowers us to shine.

2. Your Thoughts Aren’t Tenants, They’re Visitors: Do you rent space in your mind to self-doubt and negativity? King teaches us to be mindful bouncers, politely showing these toxic visitors the door. Replace them with empowering thoughts, and watch your reality transform.

3. Words Hold Power, Use Them Wisely: We are what we speak. King encourages us to ditch the self-deprecating chatter and speak affirmations, not limitations. Every positive word is a brushstroke painting the masterpiece of your life.

4. Hurt Doesn’t Have to Harden You: Life throws punches, but we don’t have to become punching bags. King shows us how to heal from past hurts, releasing the baggage that weighs us down and opening ourselves to authentic joy.

5. Gratitude Isn’t a Checklist, It’s a Celebration: We often focus on what’s missing. King teaches us the magic of gratitude, not as a chore, but as a way to appreciate the little things, amplifying the good already present.

6. Forgiveness Isn’t for Them, It’s for You: Holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. King empowers us to forgive, not for their sake, but to release ourselves from the shackles of resentment.

7. Comparison Kills Joy, Celebrate Uniqueness: Scrolling through lives seemingly “better” is a recipe for misery. King reminds us that everyone’s journey is unique, and our true potential lies in embracing our authentic selves.

8. The Universe Responds to Your Vibration: What you put out comes back. King teaches us to cultivate positive energy, and watch as opportunities unfold, synchronicities align, and life starts humming a happier tune.

9. Intuition Whispers, Don’t Ignore Its Roar: We often silence our inner voice. King encourages us to listen to our intuition, the quiet wisdom that guides us towards our true path.

10. You Are Enough, Right Now: This is the most powerful lesson. We spend so much time chasing “enough” that we forget we already are. King reminds us that our worth isn’t based on achievements, but on the simple truth: we are worthy, just as we are.

If you’re ready to turn down the hum and crank up the good vibes, then “Good Vibes, Good Life” is your invitation to the dance floor.

Empowering Lessons from “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” by Lysa Terkeurst

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“Empowering Lessons from Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” is a transformative book by Lysa TerKeurst, renowned for her #1 New York Times bestselling works like Unglued and Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. As I delved into the pages of this life-changing book, I unearthed seven profound lessons that I’m eager to share with you:

  1. Boundaries are not selfish; they are godly. Love isn’t about losing oneself. God designed us with dignity, worth, and purpose, expecting us to respect and protect those gifts. Boundaries, far from being isolating walls, are protective fences. They don’t hinder love; instead, they act as bridges to love.
  2. Boundaries are not one-size-fits-all; they are customized. Recognizing that different relationships and situations demand varying levels of boundaries is crucial. Consider factors like the nature of the relationship, trust, safety, responsibility, and growth potential. Flexibility and adaptability are key, coupled with firmness and consistency.
  3. Boundaries are not easy; they are hard. Setting boundaries can be an uphill battle, especially when faced with resistance, criticism, or guilt. The challenges are real, but the rewards—preserving peace, joy, and sanity—are worth it. Seeking guidance and strength from God becomes essential in this process.
  4. Boundaries are not enough; they are not everything. While boundaries are necessary, they aren’t the ultimate goal. They are a means to an end, a tool in the toolbox of healthy relationships. Balancing boundaries with communication, compassion, and compromise is crucial for overall relationship well-being.
  5. Goodbyes are not always bad; they are sometimes good. Recognizing when a relationship is no longer healthy, helpful, or hopeful is crucial. Saying goodbye can be painful, but it can also be liberating—a courageous and wise act of love. It signifies a necessary loss for a greater gain.
  6. Goodbyes are not final; they are transitional. Saying goodbye doesn’t mean closing doors forever. It’s about leaving room for God to work in His time and way. It’s not the end of the story but the beginning of a new chapter, marked by growth and transformation.
  7. Goodbyes are not lonely; they are communal. Parting ways doesn’t equate to isolation. Instead, it means being surrounded by a community of people who love, support, and understand us. It’s a connection to a larger community of faith, hope, and love, ensuring we’re embraced by God’s unwavering presence.

These seven lessons, gleaned from “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes,” are not just insights but invitations to embark on a journey of loving others without losing the essence of who you are. I hope these lessons inspire you to pick up this book and explore its transformative wisdom.

Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach

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“Smart Couples Finish Rich” by David Bach is a game-changer when it comes to navigating the financial journey as a couple. Bach dives deep into the intricacies of managing money, planning for the future, and building wealth together, providing a wealth of wisdom that goes beyond the dollars and cents. Here’s my take on the key lessons and how they can be practically applied:

Lesson 1: Values First, Money Second Before you start crunching numbers, take a step back. Discuss your dreams, your core values, and the kind of life you want to lead together. Create a shared vision board or list to make sure your financial decisions align with what truly matters to both of you.

Lesson 2: Communication is Key Money talks can be tricky, but they’re necessary. Be open and honest about your financial fears, dreams, and spending habits. The book equips you with tools to have effective financial conversations, building trust and minimizing conflicts.

Lesson 3: The Latte Factor Bach’s “Latte Factor” concept is a wake-up call to those small daily expenses that sneakily drain your wallet. Track your spending, identify unnecessary expenses, and find alternatives. Remember, those little changes add up over time.

Lesson 4: The FinishRich File Folder System Financial organization may sound dull, but it’s a game-changer. Create folders for crucial documents, digitize them for easy access, and label everything clearly. A clutter-free financial life leads to better decision-making.

Lesson 5: Investing for the Future Investing can be intimidating, but Bach breaks it down. Understand your risk tolerance, diversify your portfolio, and build a solid financial foundation for the future. It’s not just about money; it’s about securing your dreams.

Lesson 6: Adapting to Change Life is unpredictable, and Bach gets it. Build an emergency fund, review your budget regularly, and be ready to adapt to unexpected changes. Flexibility and resilience are key to staying on track.

Lesson 7: Conquer Debt Together Tackling debt is a team effort. Prioritize high-interest debts, create a repayment plan, and keep each other accountable. The collaborative approach makes the journey less daunting.

Lesson 8: Beyond Money Bach doesn’t just focus on the dollars and cents. He acknowledges the emotional side of money in relationships. The book encourages open communication about financial anxieties and dreams, fostering understanding and emotional support.

In a nutshell, “Smart Couples Finish Rich” is not just a financial guide; it’s a toolkit for building a life of shared dreams, open communication, and financial success as a team. Highly recommended for couples ready to embark on a richer future together.

A Transformative Journey Toward Justice by Malcolm X

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Malcolm X, born Malcolm Little, was a powerful and influential figure whose life journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of self-education, resilience, and a relentless pursuit of justice.

From a troubled youth marked by poverty, crime, and a fractured family, Malcolm X emerged as a symbol of resistance against racial injustice. His early experiences with racism and systemic oppression fueled a fervent determination to challenge the status quo and advocate for the rights of African Americans.

Malcolm’s life took a pivotal turn during his imprisonment, where he embraced the teachings of the Nation of Islam and its leader, Elijah Muhammad. Through rigorous self-education, he transformed his perspective on race, religion, and societal structures. His journey within the Nation of Islam saw him rise as a charismatic and impassioned speaker, advocating for black empowerment, self-defense, and the rejection of the racial hierarchy imposed by a predominantly white society.

However, Malcolm X’s evolution didn’t stop there. Following a pilgrimage to Mecca and a break from the Nation of Islam, he underwent a profound ideological shift. His experiences in Mecca exposed him to a more inclusive and egalitarian interpretation of Islam, prompting him to reassess his views on race and collaboration between different ethnicities in the struggle for justice.

In the latter part of his life, Malcolm X became an advocate for global human rights, addressing issues that extended beyond racial boundaries. His dedication to justice, equality, and the upliftment of oppressed communities resonated with people worldwide.

Tragically, Malcolm X’s life was cut short by assassination in 1965. Yet, his legacy endures as an inspiration to countless individuals fighting against oppression. His journey reminds us of the power of education, self-discovery, and the capacity for profound personal transformation. Malcolm X’s contributions to the civil rights movement continue to shape conversations about racial equality, justice, and the ongoing struggle for a more equitable society. In reflecting on his life, we find motivation to stand against injustice, challenge preconceived notions, and strive for a world where everyone is treated with dignity and respect.

Selfless service to the nation by Abdul Sattar Edhi

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Meeting Abdul Sattar Edhi was a profound and humbling experience that left an indelible mark on my life. As I sat across from him, I was immediately struck by the simplicity and humility that defined this iconic figure. Edhi was not just a man; he was a living testament to selflessness and compassion.

Our conversation began in his modest office, surrounded by the incessant activity of the Edhi Foundation, an organization he founded to provide healthcare, social services, and burial services to those in need. Edhi exuded a calm demeanor, his eyes reflecting a lifetime of experiences, challenges, and unwavering dedication to helping others.

As we delved into his life story, it became evident that Edhi’s journey was not paved with grandeur, but rather with a genuine desire to make a difference. Born into humble beginnings in Gujarat, India, he migrated to Pakistan during the tumultuous partition in 1947. Edhi’s early struggles laid the foundation for his empathetic approach to life.

He spoke with a soft yet resolute voice, recounting the pivotal moment when he decided to dedicate his life to philanthropy. Inspired by the suffering he witnessed around him, Edhi initiated his charitable efforts with a single ambulance, driven by his unyielding commitment to help those in need, regardless of caste, creed, or religion.

Edhi’s perspective on wealth was refreshing, advocating that true richness lay in the service of humanity. His actions spoke louder than words as he shared anecdotes of personally rescuing abandoned infants, providing shelter to the homeless, and nursing the sick. His humanitarian spirit was infectious, prompting all those around him to contribute to his noble cause.

What stood out most during our conversation was Edhi’s unwavering belief in the inherent goodness of people. He had faced challenges, criticism, and even threats, but he remained steadfast in his mission, undeterred by the negativity that often accompanies such selfless endeavors.

As our talk concluded, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of admiration and inspiration. Edhi’s life was a testament to the power of compassion, reminding me that one person, armed with empathy and a genuine desire to make a difference, could impact countless lives.

In the presence of Abdul Sattar Edhi, I witnessed the embodiment of love and service to humanity. His legacy continues to resonate, challenging us all to reevaluate our priorities and strive for a world where compassion knows no bounds. Meeting this remarkable individual was not just an encounter; it was an invitation to embrace the spirit of selflessness and contribute to the betterment of our shared humanity.

AMAZING LESSONS FROM TARA WESTOVER’S “EDUCATED”

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How do you measure education? Is it by the degrees you earn, or by the experiences you live? Is it by the books you read, or by the people you meet? Tara Westover’s Educated is a searing and soulful memoir, that attempts to answer these questions. With piercing honesty and poetic prose, Westover takes us on a journey of self-discovery, as she overcomes the trauma of her upbringing and blossoms into a brilliant and resilient scholar. It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of knowledge. Here are some of the best lessons I learned reading the book:

1. The power of a hungry mind: Imagine a world where questioning is a trespass, knowledge a forbidden fruit. Tara craves that fruit, stealing library books, devouring their pages like a starved woman. This raw hunger for understanding becomes the fuel that propels her escape.2. Education is a weapon, but it can wound: We wield knowledge like a sword, slicing through ignorance, but it can also sever us from our roots. Tara’s education becomes a chasm between her and her family, each step forward echoing with the pain of leaving them behind.3. The scars of self-reliance: Raised in a survivalist household, Tara learns to depend on no one but herself. This fierce independence becomes both her armor and her cage, making love and connection a terrifying vulnerability.4. The audacity of hope: Even in the darkest corners of her isolated childhood, Tara clings to a sliver of hope. It’s the belief that somewhere, beyond the mountains, lies a world where she can be her true self. This hope becomes the North Star guiding her through the storms.5. The burden of forgiveness: Can we truly forgive those who shape our cages? Tara wrestles with this question, yearning to reconcile with her family, yet haunted by their choices. This dance between love and anger becomes a poignant exploration of forgiveness’s complexities.6. The transformative power of stories: Tara’s journey is a testament to the transformative power of stories. They become her escape, her solace, her weapons. Each book she devours chips away at the walls around her, revealing the world in all its messy, beautiful glory.7. The freedom to write your own ending: Tara’s story isn’t a fairy tale. It’s a brutal, honest account of the price she pays for her liberation. But it’s also a celebration of the human spirit’s ability to rewrite its own destiny. In her final act, she reclaims not just her education, but her voice, her identity, her right to belong to the world she dared to dream of.”Educated” isn’t a comfortable read. It’s a gut punch, a howl of defiance, yet a love letter to the transformative power of learning.