It came out of anger when I saw my colleague rubbing his genitals in front of female colleagues. Like a flash, I recalled how men’s behaviour is a shaming act in public spheres; why they do such acts? They do not spare the straps of a woman’s undergarments and take it as seductive as they are watching nudity inside. When I started writing this book, I knew this wouldn’t be a gentle exploration of men’s stupidity. I didn’t intend to pat anyone on the back or hold hands while sugar-coating the truth. But, I tried to make this book my blistering autopsy of male behavior without anesthesia. Which was an unflinching examination of the motives, justifications, and excuses men use to plunge headlong into the forbidden.
Society has always been quick to romanticize men as explorers, protectors, or builders. But I’ve looked beyond these polished veneers. I have seen another narrative, the narrative of the reckless pursuit of power, validation, and hedonism. So, this book is surely not about heroes but villains. It’s about those who destroy, defy, and detour from the expected paths, leaving wreckage in their wake. I’m talking about the philanderer who gambles away trust, the tyrant who twists power into chains, and the man whose self-sabotage drags others into his abyss. I refuse to look away.
Why do men do the things they shouldn’t? That question haunted me, and I found the answer in a tangled web of biology, societal constructs, and a glaring deficit of accountability. For too long, men have hidden behind “just being men,” as if that phrase were some mystical shield against scrutiny. “Boys will be boys” is not just an excuse; it’s an anthem of permissiveness that silences those who bear its consequences. So, I thought that it’s time to shatter the myth of male inevitability. It was a moment for me to peel back the fake glittering manliness layers and confront the raw, inconvenient truths.
I’ve spared no one in this book. I’ve questioned the pedestal on which society places men’s behaviour and masculinity, the systems that enable and excuse the mentioned and not mentioned harmful behaviours, and the individuals who wield power without care for its cost. From childhood indoctrination into roles of dominance, to the unchecked desires that lead men astray, this is not an easy read. But I believe it’s a necessary one.
I’ve heard the excuses. Men’s behaviour is often explained away as “instinct,” “nature,” or “hormones.” These lazy justifications do little to address the reality that men are not animals. We have a moral compass that is a tool too often ignored in favour of convenience or conquest. I dared to demand more. I demanded introspection, discipline, and the courage to confront what lies beneath the surface.
Every page of “Joystick” is meant to irritate, provoke, and unsettle. I want it to challenge you to rethink your assumptions about what it means to be a man, to deconstruct the toxic cycles that bind masculinity to harm, and to hold up a mirror to the uncomfortable truths lurking in the shadows. I’m not here to offer redemption to those I write about. I’m here to expose them.
So, this work is my call to action for accountability of men’s behaviour, for change, and for dismantling the excuses that have too long defined and diminished what it means to be a man. If it stings, good. If it enrages, better. If it inspires reflection, then we’re on the right track. Masculinity doesn’t need to be destroyed; it needs to be rebuilt on foundations of integrity, empathy, and strength untainted by selfishness or destruction.
This book is not the defensive, or the willfully blind. It is for those who are ready to confront the uncomfortable and demand better from men, from society, and from themselves.