Zadan ZarikReader, Writer, Reviewer

We met at a crossroads, and for a while, it felt okay. But somewhere along the way, things shifted. My hidden flaws surfaced, and what once felt good turned unhealthy.

I’m not a bad person, but kindness isn’t enough in a relationship. We’ve both aged, carrying the weight of our experiences. We’re not broken, but our set ways make us incompatible.There’s no point in blame. Life led us here, and it’s time to forgive ourselves for getting tangled in unhealthy waters.Letting go is hard. I admit, I got used to you. Talking every day became a habit, and breaking it takes time. The constant email and Facebook checks are slowly decreasing, a testament to the fading attachment.We both know this needs to happen, even if it feels like jumping off a moving train. The fear of loneliness and the gaping hole left behind are real. But filling that void with a quick rebound isn’t the answer.Moving on doesn’t mean betraying the past. It means prioritizing our long-term well-being. We may need to take things slow, gradually reducing contact to break the connection. It’s okay. Life finds a way to fill the spaces we leave behind.This is about growth, not blame. It’s about accepting that sometimes, good people don’t make good partners, and that’s okay.But through it all, there’s one person I can’t let go of – myself.You will be okay again, self. I promise you that.I know how hard you’ve been trying to survive lately. There are times you badly want to give up, but you still try your best to keep going. The pain in your chest is tremendous, yet you still hope for it to finally heal. The sadness that you feel every day keeps suffocating you until you feel so tired of everything, but you still try to tell yourself that everything will be okay one day. You’ve been crying every night, wishing for your suffering to end. You’ve been sobbing inconsolably on your bed, as if no one can ever help or understand you. You are completely miserable right now, and I know that you still try to hide it.I want you to know that I will do everything I can to make you feel okay someday. I promise not to give up on you, even though most people have given up on you already. I will love you more on the days that you are in pain, and I will try to make you feel better when you’re sad.My dearest self, I cannot promise you that everything will be okay today, but I promise that I will not give up on you until you finally heal from everything that you are going through right now. I will always remind you to be strong, even when you’re alone, broken, or lost. I will give you reasons not to lose hope, and I will give you courage to fight no matter how weak your heart is.I promise you, my love, that no matter how hard it is, you will survive all your battles in life. This may be the end of a relationship, but it’s the beginning of a journey of self-discovery and healing. You are strong, you are resilient, and you are worthy of love and happiness. And most importantly, you have yourself by your side every step of the way.

“In the pursuit of excess beyond necessity, I fear losing my true self.”

(Zadan Zarik)

Consumerism that extends beyond basic requirements, in my personal view, is a byproduct of capitalism. I perceive needs as akin to an elastic rubber band: initially possessing a specific length when unstretched, representing our fundamental requirements such as shelter, food, clothing, and transportation.

Subsequently, there’s the stretching phase, signifying the transition from the unstretched state to an increasingly extended length, mirroring the escalation in consumption from minimal sustenance, modest living spaces, compact vehicles, and basic attire to slightly improved versions thereof. This progression persists as we continually endeavor to accumulate more resources, expanding the length of our metaphorical rubber band, all while still labeling these acquisitions as needs. 

Needs vary from individual to individual, yet when compared, they differ significantly even among those within the same socioeconomic stratum. In my opinion, what one person deems as essential for protection from the elements, another may view as a means of projecting social status. Both regard these acquisitions as necessities, though what one perceives as luxuries, the other considers basic needs. This discrepancy extends further. 

There is no inherent issue with consumption until it results in the grossly unequal distribution of wealth among the populace. The unstretched rubber band, representing necessities, (the definition of basics is almost similar across global cultures) should be accessible to every human being. The problem is exacerbated when acquiring higher-tier needs comes at the expense of depriving others of their necessities.

For instance, the consumption habits of affluent regions like America and Europe often come at the cost of regions like Africa and Asia. This serves merely as an illustration; the intricacies of how and why this occurs are not the focus here. An exponential collective effort towards lowering consumption may yield space of resources for the underprivileged, at least the unstretched rubber band.  At the very least, every individual should have access to the unstretched rubber band of necessities.

Defining these fundamental needs should be a global social endeavor. Clothing, food, shelter, and transportation are universal basics, while other amenities may vary across cultures.  In the fierce pursuit of stretching our metaphorical rubber bands to their maximum extent, I believe we have lost sight of our shared humanity.  From the Elastic limits of rubber to plastic limits and brittleness of the socioeconomic system e.g. highly developed economies.

This assertion holds as this pursuit consumes our time, energy, and efforts, leading to an internal crisis of identity. Even those we perceive as enlightened individuals, who have cultivated their inner consciousness, often find themselves succumbing to advanced forms of consumption that elude the grasp of ordinary minds.  Hence, the definitions, acquisitions, and justifications of needs and luxuries remain susceptible to variability and interpretation. Suppose each individual adheres to the concept of the unstretched Rubber Band or stretches it slightly without jeopardizing the basics of others, as well as considering the global nature, climate, and environment. In that case, I speculate that society as a whole might progress toward a utopian ideal, albeit perhaps not in absolute terms, but at least to some degree.

Counter narrative with analytics as well as critical reasoning welcoming.

Sometimes, we find ourselves loving people more than they deserve or beyond our emotional capacity. It often transpires that we’re enamored with a particular facet of their personality, perhaps even their darker side. In this scenario, it becomes evident that our affection may have been misplaced.

There are individuals who seem to only seek our companionship when they are in a state of melancholy, a phenomenon predominantly occurring in the latter part of the day, starting from the deep afternoon and lingering into the deep midnight. It is during this downtime that these individuals lean on us for support, the other time, taking our presence for granted.

Interestingly, as the new day dawns, these same individuals transform. They rise, becoming independent and emotionally robust, seemingly unaffected by the vulnerabilities they exhibited during their darker moments in the latter part of the day. This behavioral shift can be seen as a manifestation of a complex human psychology.

It appears that, during their moments of strength, these individuals no longer require the solace and support that they sought in their darker hours. The people who once rushed to console them during their low points may find themselves relegated to the periphery as the day progresses.

This dynamic reflects a subtle psychological trade between individuals. Those who extend support during challenging moments may come to perceive their role as a necessity in the other person’s life, but in reality, it may be nothing more than an assumption. This dance of emotional give-and-take unveils the complexities of human relationships and the exchanges that occur in the ebb and flow of our daily lives.

Love, dislike, hate – these are all powerful emotions that can shape our relationships and interactions with others. While love is often considered the pinnacle of positive emotions, it is not immune to change. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, love can transform into dislike and even hate.

Love is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings of affection, attraction, and care towards someone. It created a strong bond and a sense of connection between us. However, when consistent negative experiences were learned, I changed, as I used to say, Humans learn, humans change, and hurtful actions occur within a relationship, and love can start to erode.

Dislike is a milder negative emotion that arises when we no longer feel the same warmth and fondness toward someone. It is a starter, and I wrote it like when nothing changes effectively despite doing a lot, the stubbornness of shitty low-quality actions. It was a response to disappointments, disagreements, or might be a growing realization that the person we once loved was not who we thought they were. It is true. Neither do they change. No Positivity. I will write about it later on (The hate must not stay inside to become a cancer).

But why does dislike sometimes escalate into hate? Hate is a powerful and intense emotion that can arise from a combination of hurt, betrayal, and resentment. It is often fueled by a deep sense of injustice or a belief that the other person has intentionally caused harm. Because if things can be fixed, they can be broken, so is the relationship. Expect Loyalty and Truthfulness and 90% of the relationships will end.

Understanding the journey from love to dislike to hate requires introspection and reflection. Sitting alone, learning from everything so that in the future, we can save ourselves from straying. Life is precious and people in life too. Categorize them and fuck those who do these types of acts in an echo-ist way, aloud. Well, it is important to acknowledge that emotions are not fixed, and they can change over time. While it may be painful to experience these shifts, it is also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

When love turns into dislike and hate, it is a broken glass with sharp edges but also it is crucial to examine the reasons behind these emotions. It should be quick. The other person is not learned nor wants to learn, nor improve, observes but keeps shut, and puts the observations in conclusions. Ask that is it a result of unmet expectations (other than pussy, sex, lust etc), a pattern of toxic behavior, or a fundamental incompatibility. Recognizing these factors can help us make informed decisions about our relationships and determine whether rebuilding trust and restoring love is possible.

In some cases, it may be necessary to distance ourselves from such dirty and lustful, mission printed toxic relationships to a place that can help to navigate the complex emotions involved. It is essential to prioritize our emotional well-being and surround ourselves with positive influences.

By understanding and processing these emotions, we can learn valuable lessons about ourselves and our capacity for love and forgiveness.

That day in Lahore was a whirlwind of history, culture, and delicious food. and meeting that lasted centuries. It started bright and early with a visit to Anarkali, with a short packed breakfast. It was succeeded by the Lahore Museum, a sprawling treasure trove of artifacts spanning centuries. I wandered through galleries filled with Mughal-era jewels, intricately painted miniatures, and ancient manuscripts, feeling like I was stepping back in time.

Next, I headed to the iconic Pak Tea House, a haven for intellectuals and artists for decades. The air was thick with the aroma of freshly brewed chai and the murmur of lively conversations. I sipped my tea while soaking in the atmosphere, feeling a part of Lahore’s vibrant literary scene.

By lunchtime, my stomach was rumbling, and what better place to satisfy it than the bustling Anarkali Food Street? I walked through the alleyway, my senses overwhelmed by the sights and smells of sizzling spices, colorful street food stalls, and eager vendors. After much deliberation, I opted for a plate of steaming hot halwa puri, the perfect combination of crispy flatbread, savory chickpeas, and sweet potato fudge. To wash it all down, I indulged in a refreshing glass of lassi, a creamy yogurt drink that hit the spot.

In the afternoon, I sought some peace at the Punjab Library, losing myself in the world of…

As the sun began to set, I strolled back through Anarkali, soaking in the vibrant energy of the city. The aroma of spices still lingered in the air, and the sound of laughter filled the streets. My day in Lahore was a perfect blend of history, culture, and culinary delights, and I left with a heart full of memories and a desire to return soon. After a year, unpacking jacket revealed the ruins of tickets with a note upon them, torn with another note upon them.