You’ve cried alone in some of your darkest moments, haven’t you? In those times when you needed someone the most, they weren’t there. You thought you were loved, but deep down, you started to realize the truth that it wasn’t love. It was just convenience. You were merely a filler in their life because they had no better option at the time.
Today, you might be starting to understand why this happened in the first place. Why they never consoled you when you cried? Why did they never support you when you needed it most? But you’ve learned the painful lesson that love without support, without presence, is not love at all. And now, in this most critical and lonely time of your life, you’re feeling the weight of that truth. I can feel that for you!
I know it hurts. The pain is so huge, that you can hardly breathe sometimes. You long for their affection, their attention, the acknowledgement that you matter. But instead, you feel empty. You’ve cried countless nights, asking yourself why they couldn’t love you the way you loved them. You gave everything, but it wasn’t enough. You gave them your heart, but they never truly saw it.
And there was a day when that love finally died. Maybe you can’t pinpoint the exact moment, but you remember the feeling. It was like burying a coffin of clay deep inside you, somewhere that no one would ever see. You buried your love in a place where it could no longer hurt but also where it could never flourish again.
But why did it have to come to this? Why did you never feel their attention, their care? Even when they were there, were they really there? You gave them your full attention, but they were distracted, and divided. The gap between you grew, and you were left feeling invisible. It’s like they were always more interested in their phone, social media, or anything else but you. And every time that happened, it felt like a dagger to your soul.
You’ve always craved attention, haven’t you? Maybe you’ve never quite understood it, but deep down, you know that when someone gives you their full attention, it feels like they’ve given you everything. It’s a powerful thing, yes, attention is respect. If you’re willing to give someone your time, and your focus, you’re showing them that they matter. But when the people you care about take your presence for granted, it’s like you don’t even exist.
You need to understand something that, respect, real respect, isn’t about how someone speaks to you or the surface-level gestures they make. It’s about being fully present, and truly engaged. It’s about showing up for each other, especially when it’s difficult. You’ve probably already learned that when you give someone your undivided focus, you expect the same in return. That’s what respect is. And when it’s not there, it feels like a betrayal. You feel small, and unimportant, as if you’re invisible.
Something that you need to accept is the way you define love, respect, and care might not be the same as others. It’s easy to get caught up in what others say or what society tells us love should look like, but deep inside, you know your own needs. You know that respect is tied to attention, to care, and to understanding. And when someone else doesn’t see or meet those needs, it hurts more than any words could.
Maybe you’ve felt like your values and beliefs were at odds with those around you. Perhaps, in your relationship, there’s a tug-of-war between the versions of yourself you want to express. In public, you want to feel honoured, modest, and respected. You want to be accepted in public by the way you present yourself, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself. But in private, you crave a different kind of intimacy, one where you can feel seen and free. It’s hard when those two versions of yourself aren’t acknowledged or respected. You deserve both. You deserve to feel whole, both in public and in private.
The truth is, you might have thought they were as deep as you, that they shared your sense of commitment and love. But over time, you’ve realized they’ve stayed on the surface. They float in the shallow waters where everyone else swims, while you dive deep into your emotions and needs. The disconnect between you is vast, and that’s when the rift begins to form. The frustration, the loneliness, the emptiness, it all builds until you can’t take it anymore.
And in those moments, when you feel hollow and abandoned, you cry. You weep. Alone. No one to hold you, no one to lean on, no one to talk to. Can they feel your pain? Probably not. And maybe that’s the most painful realization of all that they don’t even know the depth of your hurt. But that’s not your fault. You are not responsible for their inability to love you the way you need.
So, what do you do with all this pain? The first step is understanding that you are worthy of love, attention, and respect. Your needs are valid. You deserve to be seen, to be valued. And if someone can’t give that to you, then it’s time to let go. It’s time to stop giving your heart to someone who doesn’t treat it with the care it deserves.
The second step is healing. You cannot heal by continuing to pour into someone who isn’t willing to pour into you. Healing comes from recognizing your worth, from learning to give yourself the attention and respect that you’ve been seeking from others. You must learn to fill the space with self-love and self-care, to nurture the parts of you that have been neglected.
And lastly, respect is not a transaction. It’s not about what someone gives to you in return for what you give them. It’s about mutual understanding, a deep connection that requires both parties to show up for each other, fully. If that connection is broken, it’s okay to walk away. Let go of what no longer serves you, and make room for the love and respect that you truly deserve.
You deserve more than just crumbs of attention. You deserve someone who sees you, who respects you, who loves you as deeply as you love them.
Final Thoughts
Take these lessons to heart. Don’t be afraid to protect your emotional well-being, even if it means walking away from something or someone who can’t offer you what you need. It’s not about finding perfection, but about finding peace within yourself and in your relationships. You are worthy. And when you start to believe that, you’ll attract the respect and love that reflect your true value.
